desires · how I got here

What’s the point?

A wise friend told me her theory that after a break-up, a woman could either be a Kate Middleton or a Bella Swan (of Twilight infamy).  Having just gone through a devastating break-up several months before, this idea resonated with me.  First of all, let me say that I’ve read the Twilight books.  Yes, all of them.  I’ve even seen a couple of the movies.  And frankly, I can’t stand some of the ideas portrayed in them.  After Edward leaves her, Bella falls apart and wants to die.  That…is not acceptable.

Don’t get me wrong.  For the first three months after my break-up, I was devastated.  I had problems functioning.  I didn’t want to get out of bed.  I hated people.  Getting through each day was an overwhelming challenge.  But right around the time my friend told me her theory, I hit rock-bottom and finally listened to the people telling me I should talk to someone.  I started seeing a counselor.  Got put on depression meds (not my first choice, by any means, but a necessary one for me).  I started doing a lot of thinking.  And I realized something:  I don’t want to be a Bella.  I’m not going to be that person anymore.  I’m going to find myself, my true self, and become exactly who I want to be.  No regrets.  No excuses.  No settling.

This is my journey.

fitz

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