break up · faith · fitness · forgiveness · just because · me · something new · wrong

randomness and craziness…the story of my life

Have you ever had an experience that totally surprised you with how enjoyable it was, all out of proportion to what you were expecting? I had one of those today. I’m basically a shy person. Really shy. Definitely an introvert. But I’ve wanted to get more environmentally active, so I checked out to see if there were any local groups I could join. The Sierra Club had an outing today, an afternoon hike, and despite my innate dread of going places and knowing NOBODY, I decided to go. And I’m so glad I did.

It was a really great group, totally friendly, about 20 in all. We hiked for almost 2 hours along the Trinity Trail, which runs along the Trinity River. A beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky, mid-50s, with just enough breeze. This is definitely a group I’d like to spend more time with it. And one of the other hikers is an environmental organizer here to work on a campaign for clean energy, so she and I spent the entire time talking about environmental issues. I’m going to try to do some volunteer work on her campaign while she’s in town, and we might head to the museum district, too. It turned out to be a really great afternoon. (Even with the overly enthusiastic bikers who, apparently, own the trail and whiz by on every side without warning.)

The semi-crazy pathological liar I work with turned in her two weeks notice, so the level of crazy at work will be dropping appreciably in the very near future. Which will also make not cussing at work SO MUCH easier. (I only cussed once on Friday, and I’ve now gone two whole days without a single obscenity passing my lips. Woot!)

On a side note, if, say, you break up with someone for NO APPARENT REASON other than that you are depressed and “just can’t do this right now,”….does that mean you are not at fault for the ending of said relationship? I’m just asking because, apparently, that’s what Superman thinks. Seriously. On New Year’s Day, I told him goodbye. Okay, I didn’t actually say the word “goodbye,” but I told him that I’m under no illusions about him. He’s selfish sometimes. He doesn’t want to grow up. And he’s scared. That I wasn’t re-hashing an old conversation, I was letting go.

The Saint worked with him the next day, and he’s convinced he’ll still hear from me. He also, as I might have mentioned, claims that neither one of us is at fault for our break-up. Fortunately, the Saint was there to argue the point for me, pointing out that “You can’t just be all lovey-dovey one day, then the next day say it’s over and think it’s no big deal. You broke her heart! This is ALL YOUR FAULT.”

I might have had to spend a few minutes doing deep breathing exercises to calm down when she told me that, and I’ve definitely spent some time since then praying for help in forgiving him and getting past my hurt, anger, and sense of betrayal, but I’m not going to contact him. I might answer him if he contacts me, but as far as I’m concerned:

This is SO what I want to say to Superman.  If I were talking to him.  Which I'm not...
This is SO what I want to say to Superman. If I were talking to him. Which I’m not…

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