I am a real athlete.
Seriously. I have proof.
Exhibit A: I was about to walk out my door this morning at 4:50 a.m. to meet Super Mom for our workout when my mom called. She twisted her knee at work and needed to go to the E.R. Obviously, I cancelled the workout and went to get her. We were the ONLY ones there, but we waited like 45 minutes for the doctor, who was half-asleep and less than useless when he showed up. “Does this hurt?” (While prodding the visibly swollen area. What do YOU think, Doc?) After x-rays, which revealed nothing, we were released, with a huge, bulky brace, and a prescription for a painkiller. Fortunately, Baby Brother was there by then, so he got her in his truck and we took her home.
Mom lives maybe half a mile from the trails Super Mom and I went to Sunday, so after we got her settled, I decided to head that way. It was 7 a.m. and very overcast. It was also sprinkling, with the clear threat of doing something heavier. I didn’t want to miss a scheduled workout. I had very good excuses not to go (the hospital visit, the weather). But I went anyway! I wanted to go. (Hang on. That is such a foreign concept to me that I need a moment to adjust….Okay.)
Exhibit B: While on the trails, in one of miCoach’s “yellow zone” intervals, I hear a rustling in the trees over my head, and something falls to the ground two feet away from me. It wasn’t a stick… it was a snake! It was maybe three feet long, and looked something like this:
It lay there stunned for a minute, then it started moving. Coincidentally, so did I. At a much more rapid pace…probably the “red zone.” There may have been some startled shrieking, I’m not sure. I swear, that thing was eyeballing me like this:
Excuse me, Mr. Snake. Sorry to bother you. I’ll just be…going. Still, I continued on with the workout. (And I had go BACK by the snake-infested-tree-of-doom to get to my car!) Meanwhile, it started raining for real.
Y’all, I am now one of those people who braves the elements and the wildlife, and still keeps on going.
I am an athlete.