break up · depression · faith · fears · forgiveness · happy · health · how I got here · just because · me · memories · moving on · pray · procrastination · wrong

freedom and forgiveness

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about a Freedom Ministry event I attended, and what my takeaways were. I’m not absolutely positive I can put this into words adequately, but I’m going to try, because this event made a huge difference for me.

I started this blog a while back because I was struggling to get over a breakup, and I thought that writing about it—to some extent—could help me work out some of my feelings. (The explanation is here if you’re interested.) The blog has morphed into more than that for me. Yes, I still talk about my life, but I’m not battling depression like I was then. I battled a much harder opponent last year. My life isn’t what it was. I am not who I was. And that is great. But I do still have some residual wounds from that relationship (and the ones before it). Kairos really helped heal me.

This event is about getting freedom from the things that have hurt you, healing, and moving on. In theory, it sounds simple. In practice, not so much. I went through that break-up two years ago, and while I was so much better than I was at first, I still had some issues. I’ve been trying hard to forgive him, but I had some residual bitterness. I’m not proud of that, but when someone swears they love you, and you plan a future with him, then he just leaves, it’s devastating. (Finding out, a year later, that he’s engaged to the girl he started dating after you, when he CLAIMED he’d never get married again, only makes it worse….AND when the wedding is set for the EXACT DATE you said you’d like to get married on…well, let’s just say that the scab got ripped off the wound I’d tried so hard to heal.)   Even when you realize you never should have been in the relationship in the first place, it’s still agony. And, while I may be into tattoos and piercings, I’m not into inflicting torture on myself. So I wanted the pain gone.

After the two-day Kairos event, filled with intensive sessions on strongholds, forgiveness, breaking soul ties, shame, freedom through forgiveness, rejection, inner healing, and deliverance, the pain IS gone. The teachings made a difference. The prayer and healing were more than just words, they did heal me. They helped me change my way of thinking. And they helped me truly forgive him all the way.

Before Kairos, I wouldn’t speak of him by name (and neither would my friends). Two days after Kairos, I called him by name without realizing it, and shocked the Diva. And I realized that I wish him well. I wish him happiness. I still wish I’d never met him—I’m healed, not stupid—but I hope he gets the things he wanted out of life. Even more than that, I hope he finds God. Because if anyone ever needed God, it’s him.

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