What’s the point?
A wise friend told me her theory that after a break-up, a woman could either be a Kate Middleton or a Bella Swan (of Twilight infamy). Having just gone through a devastating break-up several months before, this idea resonated with me. First of all, let me say that I’ve read the Twilight books. Yes, all of them. I’ve even seen a couple of the movies. And frankly, I can’t stand some of the ideas portrayed in them. After Edward leaves her, Bella falls apart and wants to die. That…is not acceptable.
Don’t get me wrong. For the first three months after my break-up, I was devastated. I had problems functioning. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I hated people. Getting through each day was an overwhelming challenge. But right around the time my friend told me her theory, I hit rock-bottom and finally listened to the people telling me I should talk to someone. I started seeing a counselor. Got put on depression meds (not my first choice, by any means, but a necessary one for me). I started doing a lot of thinking. And I realized something: I don’t want to be a Bella. I’m not going to be that person anymore. I’m going to find myself, my true self, and become exactly who I want to be. No regrets. No excuses. No settling.
This is my journey.
At this point, I feel like I’m on the verge of a mental transition, a shift towards something more. I’m not quite sure where this is headed, but I have a few glimmerings. I’m trying to overhaul my way of eating, moving towards eating fresh, whole foods as much as possible. That means a lot of shopping for organics and cooking. I’m also trying to eliminate most of the toxins and chemicals in my house, which means making a lot of stuff from scratch. I’m enjoying my new lifestyle very much, but I feel that I’m not quite all the way shifted just yet. The mental transition has just started.
Um, yeah. A lot of things have changed for me. On June 1st 2013, I had a major stroke and almost died (the doc told my parents there was a 98% fatality rate). By only the love and grace of God, I woke up the next day, went back to work and school three months later. God is good. If you want the details on that, you can read here and here.
I should finish my B.A. in English (Professional Writing) next December, and I’m hoping to go right into the program for a Master’s in Journalism.) I’m so over the breakup that started this blog. That was a long, hard, battle, but I’m fine with it now (apart from wishing I’d never met him).
This is still my journey. It’s just…far different than it used to be.